Murphy’s Laws


Living in the forest demands continual interaction with the ever-changing dynamics of its trees . . . they die and fall down . . . often in areas that require their removal.

Our driveway seems to be a tree favorite life’s end destination. One edge of it precipitously skirts the edge of a ravine that has my wife hugging the other side, and makes Billy goats quiver.

During the past year a tree across the ravine has developed an increasing lean reaching across the driveway. It portends an eventual fall that would necessitate chainsaw action to exit our abode down in the ‘holler’ over the ‘crick’. A proactive remedy was in order.

I inadvertently let my remedy slip out as my wife was headed out the door for town. Ever the adrenaline junkie like myself 😊, she offered supportive encouragement,

 “If this is the last time I see you alive, it’s been fun.”

Armed with my trusty little chainsaw I trudged across the ravine. Notching the potentially problematic leaning tree, I confidently made the back-cut which would cause it to fall ‘perfectly’ clear of the driveway among its forest companions

TIMBER! . . . Murphy’s First Law of Tree Felling took effect – Standing trees seldom fall where they’re supposed to.

The thick rhododendrons encircling the leaning tree sadistically diverted it’s fall ‘perfectly’ across a huge hemlock that had fallen years ago spanning the ravine. My proactive single tree felling had suddenly become a two-tree hugging dilemma . . . Arrrrrgh!

A new remedy was in order . . . perform a balanced walk out onto the huge hemlock traversing the ravine to the smaller tree; saw it through; gratefully watch as each half plummets into the ravine below. Problem solved!

Strangely analogous to Murphy’s First Law of Tree Felling, Murphy’s Second Law of Tree Felling took effect – Partially fallen trees seldom fall the rest of the way as planned.

Upon almost sawing completely through the partially fallen tree hugging the huge hemlock my chainsaw jammed, becoming irretrievably stuck . . . double Arrrrrgh!

Time to ditch Murphy and go Nike . . . Just Do It!

Trudging across the ravine yet again, I ruthlessly abused a thick rhododendron branch to pry against the severed end of the former leaning, now hugging, tree just enough to slightly loosen the stuck chainsaw. A final ravine crossing followed by another balancing walk out onto the huge hemlock successfully retrieved my little chain saw . . . Hooray!

Here’s a couple illustrative pics of Murphy’s Laws of Tree Felling, and one of an ole, jubilant, fatigued, but eventual Victor! . . . another Senior Fun Day in the forest 😊😊😊

Keep Looking Up . . . His Best is Yet to Come!

Double Tree Dilemma
Stuck!
Victory!

16 thoughts on “Murphy’s Laws

  1. Adapt and overcome!
    Congratulations as yet another battle against the overwhelming odds of mother nature has been won. Love the narrative and the pics!

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  2. If it weren’t for the fact that you’re my brother and a certified knucklehead who I love I’d have not believed you. What’s the old saying?, ‘God takes care of drunks and knuckleheads’. You’re amazing with the things you do for your age! Scary thing is it must run in the family because I probably would have done it myself!

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  3. Fun times Fred. I have 80 acres of mature trees, some need to go. They are supplying firewood to some seniors who cant afford a gas bill for the winter. It is good exercise running when the tree starts going wonky

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  4. Good to hear that it ended well. You certainly got your exercise today. You certainly could win at a balance beam competition in gymnastics! Also, you finished before your wife returned! Hooray!😄

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  5. I identify!

    Jonathan Rockey

    Child of God

    Husband, Father, Son, Grandfather

    Pastor Emeritus, St. John Lutheran Church

    907-841-4066 – cell

    907-746-5131 – home

    “1 John 3:1 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1a)

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